Overwatch is a cavalcade of character design. It’s almost — dare I say it — fashionable. But what do I know? I’m a 35 year-old games journalist. I own roughly 25 white t-shirts. Five don’t have stains. Yet. My solution: create a panel and ask the experts.
This is Overwatch fashion, as reviewed by people who know fashion.
The experts: the world class team of beauty and fashion editors who make up POPSUGAR Australia and Who What Wear Australia.
Let’s meet them.
Alright, time to fashion!
1. Junkrat
Lisa: I don’t really know what to say about Junkrat…I like his hair flames? I guess I’m wondering how someone with so much body armour (and a missing leg) justifies going shirtless, but if he’s lighting his own head on fire, that’s probably a moot point.
Ashling: I feel like this guy doesn’t have a lot of clothing on to talk about in the first place, but he’s rocking the raw-edge hems and patchwork design on his pants, which is so 2016. Also, what do those aerosol cans along his chest do?
Amanda: There are elements to this outfit that wouldn’t feel out of place in a Jennifer Lopez film clip. I’m mainly talking about the ? cargo pants and fanny pack, but it also wouldn’t surprise me to see her with flame-tipped hair. I actually like this ‘look’.
Alexandra: This guy looks like a hybrid between the joker and Rose McGowen’s character in Tarantino’s Grindhouse: Planet Terror. Actually, is that a gun on his leg, I don’t think it is, but it should be! Also, is his hair always on fire? That’s pretty cool. Like Hades.
Genevieve: This is less ‘fashion victim’ and more plain old ‘victim’. The first thought that came to mind was that he looks like he belongs in South African rap-rave group Die Antwoord, and I don’t know if that makes me feel good or bad. He scares me but I can appreciate that he mostly sticks to silver accessories.
2. McCree
Lisa: McCree looks like the lovechild of Zorro and a cowboy robot host from Westworld.
Ashling: I’m getting Aragorn meets Westworld meets i-Robot vibes with this guy. I’m into it, especially that BAMF belt.
Amanda: Kylie Jenner recently recreated Christina Aguliera’s ‘Dirrty’ film clip for Halloween. I feel like that’s what’s happening here.
Alexandra: Wolverine and Clint Eastwood. I’m getting good at this! Are all the characters in this game a hybrid of several Hollywood people?
Genevieve: The flares kick out a little too intensely for me — I’m feeling John Corbett in the early-2000s — but things improve as you head north. He kind of looks cool but... the hat was obviously thieved from a council ranger, the cape he nicked from Doctor Strange and the novelty-sized pistol isn’t scary so much as it is entertaining. It’s confusing and I don’t hate it.
3. Mei
Lisa: Mei is everything I want to be in life—smart, ready for ski season, and equipped to kick ass. Also, she has really cute hair. (Important.)
Ashling: Oh honey, the coat and boots look like they’re wearing you instead!
Amanda: This actually is genius. To combine an oriental print, kimono shape, with the warmth of a puffer jacket? Wish I thought of it first. Take away the boots with the fur, and she looks like she could step out onto a runway.
Alexandra: It’s hard to look cute when you’re carrying a huge gun and have a knife through your top-knot, but Mei pulls it off.
Genevieve: How could you not love an adorable little face like this? Also, is she not so hot? My own core temperature is rising just looking at her. I feel she is playing a different game than what Junkrat is playing – but if she was down at Thredbo she’d be the coolest snow bunny out. Points for the hairpin that could double as a murder weapon.
4. Roadhog
Lisa: Pretty sure I’ve seen this guy on Doomsday Preppers... Is he a survivalist gardener? I can only assume that’s what the dangerous-looking planter hoe is for.
Ashling: If I saw this guy I would scream and run for the hills. It’s like Bane on steroids and obese. But at the same time, the pig-face around his belly button is kind of lol-worthy. Can’t unsee.
Amanda: I have no idea where I’m supposed to look. His whole vibe is equal parts terrifying and gross. I’m trying really hard to find something I like. But I can’t. Soz Roadhog.
Alexandra: I wouldn’t be able to spend much time in the same room with Roadhog before I’d start gagging. That tattoo is nauseating.
Genevieve: I’m so upset by that belly button that I can hardly move past it. His accessories are a little aggressive for my own personal liking, but I reckon Rihanna could pull some of it off. I have to say, the high ponytail is cute. He’s so tough-looking that he just looks a little lost, you know? I fear he might be sad behind that terrifying gas mask.
5. Sombra
Lisa: I imagine Sombra has a YouTube channel dedicated to alt beauty tutorials, but Google tells me she’s actually one of the world’s “most notorious hackers”. Didn’t know thigh-high boots were essential for stalking your ex on FB, but there you go.
Ashling: Badass hair. Badass eyebrows. Badass makeup.
Amanda: Not sure what ‘Sombra’ is, but the purple claw nails have won me over. And every 17-year-old girl on Instagram.
Alexandra: I’m living for this costume. Ombre leggings – or legs, I can’t tell. Nails did. Half her head shaved. Amazing.
Genevieve: I had to Google Sombra to see her in all her glory and I sincerely approve. Purple’s not normally my thing but she works it hard. I feckin’ love that she’s not wearing heels (smart) and that her nails are so perfectly polished (takes care of herself). The way her jacket nips at the waist and her collar pops so perfectly . . . She’s got game, and knows how to style the basics. She also looks terrifying and I’d never, ever cross her.
6. Symmetra
Lisa: I love a woman who accessorises with a photon projector. Top marks in that respect. I will say her outfit isn’t super practical, but who needs practical when you can teleport?
Ashling: That is one (two?) daring thigh splits. Is that outfit hard to walk in? But +1 to those perforated knee-high socks.
Amanda: I love everything about Symmetra. Look up this Balenciaga collection and she doesn’t look out of place. I’d wear the shoes in a heartbeat.
Alexandra: Wife of Cyborg? I like this look, it takes you from work to evening. If you work as a robot cop and like to dine in Ancient Eqypt.
Genevieve: I mean, this is straight-up stylish. Zayn Malik wore her arm to the Met Gala this year. So many hot celebs have done the hip-high slit of late. She’s also wearing statement earrings! This chick is all over it. Lessons, please.
7. Torbjorn
Lisa: This is what happens when Santa joins a bikie gang.
Ashling: Snooze. There’s always at least one character that looks like this in video games!
Amanda: Nope. I mean, maybe the glove is cool?
Alexandra: Isn’t this one of the dwarfs in The Hobbit? One that comes back from the future? Or am I mixing genres?
Genevieve: There’s something to be said for knowing your style and sticking to it, and Torbjorn lives that truth. Which is great. Only, he’s over-accessorised by about 27 items. Lose the bits and bobs and we might have a more cohesive look to work with. Two things: Is that Hulk Hogan? And is his beard bolted to his stomach?
8. Tracer
Lisa: From her outfit, I’d say Tracer is a former commercial pilot who quit her job to “follow her bliss” and is now a fitness instructor and influencer on Instagram.
Ashling: Aside from the fact that those straps around his/her(?) crotch look like they’re giving him/her a massive wedgie, I actually really like this outfit. I think the colour combination is super sleek and love the cropped cargo jacket with bright tights – that are complete with lace-up details, no less!
Amanda: Tracer has cool hair, and also looks like she got the memo that coloured lenses are ‘back’. And her cropped army jacket would look just as fetching over a slip dress. Cool.
Alexandra: Legs for days! But really big feet, and those shoes kinda look like duck heads. Ah well. I wonder what gel she uses to keep her hair erect like that?
Genevieve: Have noticed that game developers love tight tights on female characters. Have also noticed they almost always wear them well – Tracer is no different. Yellow is fun, it’s different. The lacing down the side is very much on trend. Her shoes aren’t the most flattering but they look like they’d help her swim fast if she needed to. She’s very top-heavy and looks almost confused as I feel, but I actually think she’s working this overall look. I think it’s a yes from me.
9. Zarya
Lisa: I know Zarya from F45. You should see her overhead squat—it’s next-level.
Ashling: I can’t imagine how this character actually moves in that suit! So. Bulky. Although those kneepads do look VERY cushioned . . . which is never a bad thing!
Amanda: For Zarya, it’s clearly function over fashion but I like that she still has fab hair with her metal... suit?
Alexandra: Girl Boss! I think she’s my fave. But I wish she’d come out from behind that gun – which is big enough to be a motorcycle. Too many women hide behind their guns these days. I’m kidding. Guns are bad.
Genevieve: Gosh, they really go heavy on the shin pads and snow boots in this game. This particular look is like if a rollerblader, a snowboarder and an astronaut (I last saw that neckline in The Martian) got together and made boring fashion babies. I wish it never happened. Zarya’s cool though, I like her hair.
This story originally appeared on Kotaku Australia on November 28.